


it's a beautiful knife cutting right where the fear should be

by eunhathighs (gahye0nie)



Category: THE9, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Fingerfucking, Mirror Sex, Praise Kink, Sort Of, there's some plot here but not a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:22:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24478639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gahye0nie/pseuds/eunhathighs
Summary: Xue’er recalled the disbandment of Ladybees. It was last year, but it feels like ages since she was on stage. She sometimes forgets that Yuxin, who has been succeeding with flying colors in the show thus far, started the show exactly like she did.“Can I see you try again?”
Relationships: Kong Xue'er/Liu Yuxin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	it's a beautiful knife cutting right where the fear should be

**Author's Note:**

> ok i've been wanting to write for this ship for ages. the fact that they both left a group they used to be in and then ended up on the same competition show and now they're debuting together again?? this is some soulmate shit  
> also this is going to be smut, if you can't tell by the tags :)
> 
> ///
> 
> title comes from Pang by Caroline Polachek

_ One, two, three and four. One, two, three and four. _

Xue’er collapsed onto the floor, her hands hitting the ground with such a force that sent the impact throughout her body. Turning off the music, she groaned loudly, sitting cross-legged. She shook her arms in hopes the ache would subside, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. She rubbed her cheek and moved her hand along the back of her neck, which did nothing more than make her palm clammy with sweat. She flinched, wiping it on the front of her sweatpants. 

Xue’er’s eyes snapped up to the mirror, about a foot in front of her. She fixated on her reflection, her body hunched over and still aside from her heavy breathing lifting her shoulders. She puffed a little air out of her nose in brief amusement that her makeup had yet to smudge that day. She needed to ask Shuxin what brand that setting spray was…

_ No...focus. Stop that, Kong Xue’er. _

A chill spread in her stomach as she called herself by her own name in her head. Was she really Kong Xue’er?

The creak of a door made Xue’er twitch, her eyes wide as someone came into her peripheral vision. A hand rested on the doorframe, a surprisingly large and slightly weathered hand partially concealed by a black sleeve. 

“Hey.”

Xue’er’s body unconsciously relaxed at the sound of Liu Yuxin’s gentle greeting. Her gaze parts from the mirror and she gives the other woman a curt, tight-lipped smile.

“Everything okay in here? I can hear you sighing from down the hall.”

“Oh, what do you want?” Xue’er groaned, her head tipped down, looking at the reflection of the bottom of her shoes.

Xue’er heard the door creak again, but only slightly. Without the song blaring, she could acutely catch Yuxin’s defeated sigh.

“Can I come visit?”

The redhead wet her lips. “Yeah...sure…”

Yuxin sat beside her in the same cross-legged position, her fingers tapping her knees to the tempo of an unknown song. Xue’er is made well aware of Yuxin’s presence beside her, there’s a mildly flowery scent of the other woman’s cologne in her nose.

“Need something to drink?” Yuxin asked, passing her a bottle of yogurt drink.

Xue’er gave her an incredulous look, and the smirk on Yuxin’s face tells her everything she needed to know.

“You know I’m just kidding,” Yuxin chuckled, “This shit tastes like soap.”

Xue’er smiles. “They probably think we’ll lose weight if the only thing we’re getting to eat is that stuff.”

Yuxin’s eyes crinkled up in a laugh, and the atmosphere lightened around them.

“But...really. You’ve been practicing all day. Everyone else went to bed already.”

“Can’t sleep. I…I haven’t been doing enough.”

Yuxin furrowed her brow. “Why do you think that?”

“Lisa’s been saying the same thing the past couple stages. That I don’t look confident enough. I'm not the Xue'er she remembers from auditions, she says."

“I can see it."

Xue'er winced.

"I don’t know why, though. You can dance, rap, sing...you’re beautiful…”

Xue’er paused, digesting what Yuxin said, and her cheeks got warm, but the warmth subsided when her doubt rushed back in. “Clearly not enough for me to debut properly.”

Yuxin knows the story. She failed to debut in Korea twice, then when given the chance to debut in her home country, with her, the group disbanded. She knows that Xue’er is so close to a breakthrough that she can taste it, but she’s got to keep her momentum. 

“We’re in the same boat, Xue’er.”

Xue’er recalled the disbandment of Ladybees. It was last year, but it feels like ages since she was on stage. She sometimes forgets that Yuxin, who has been succeeding with flying colors in the show thus far, started the show exactly like she did. 

“Can I see you try again?”

Xue’er exhaled and stood, grunting as her leg muscles started to kick back into gear. She turned the stereo back on and the bombastic beats of “Why Am I So Good-Looking” broke the solemn silence. Kong Xue’er put on her best face and started dancing, her moves tight and quick. She tried narrowing her attention to just her own reflection, but Yuxin is leaning against the mirror in her view, and her smug smile, her eyes that she swore were looking her body up and down, distracted her for a moment. Yuxin, contrary to her fuckboyish looks, wasn't usually this lecherous. Was she even being so to begin with? She must just be overthinking.

Nevertheless, she finished the song powerfully, a bright, show-stopping smile wiped across her face. 

Yuxin politely clapped, like she was watching a round of golf, adjusting her seated position with one leg bent up near her chest. “Very good, Miss Kong.”

The feigned formality made Xue’er chuckle. “Thank you, Teacher Liu.”

The redhead leaned up against the wall next to Yuxin, their shoulders touching. 

“You know something?” Yuxin commented.

“What?” Xue’er responded, turning her head. 

Yuxin stumbled on her words for a second, realizing how close their faces were. “You...you’ve grown so much since we were in a group, you know.”

“Oh?” Xue’er mused. “How so?”

Yuxin smirked. “Well, your body, first of all…”

Xue’er gasped, playfully pushing Yuxin. “Are you saying I’ve gained weight?”

“Maybe a little!” Yuxin replied, pushing back.

Xue’er giggled, holding her stomach and laying on her back. Yuxin scooted up beside her, hovering over her, one hand beside her head. There was a pregnant pause and their laughter subsided, staring at each other.

"U-um…" Yuxin muttered. "I mean with that...you've grown in the right places, you know."

Xue'er's thoughts began to fly away, confirming that Yuxin was ogling her a little bit. 

_ Why did it make her feel like this, though? _

"So you were looking at my body? I thought you were supposed to be watching my dancing?" Xue'er said, clearing her throat.

Yuxin looked in the mirror. "Ah, I…"

She threw on a flustered smile. "Ah, sorry about that."

"No, it's fine, really," Xue'er replied quickly.

After that, another pregnant pause. Both of the girls were unwavering, looking as if they were going to say something but closing their mouths before it could be said. 

"I...I liked it."

Yuxin's eyes went wide. "Ah...maybe I should…"

The short-haired woman began to sit up, but a look back at Xue'er and a cursory glance at her pretty red lips sealed her fate. 

Both girls crashed into the kiss, their sharp intakes of breath in sync before their lips met. Xue'er's arms were around her neck, hands snatching up the back of her white practice shirt in bunches. Yuxin's hands floundered by Xue'er's side before gingerly resting on her thighs. She could feel Xue'er's leg muscles clench as she gave a tentative squeeze. Yuxin’s lips were a lot softer than Xue’er expected, and they tasted faintly of blueberry chapstick.

They broke the kiss just for a moment, taking in gentle breaths. Xue’er licked her lips. Flicking her eyes up to meet Yuxin’s, she looked absolutely dumbfounded.

“I...well…”

“This is...different,” Xue’er said.

Yuxin nodded. “You...you kiss good.”

Xue’er almost giggled, partially out of the same dumbfoundedness of “my former group member-current peer on a competition show who I’ve known for years just made out with me and I  _ really  _ liked it” and partially because it was rare to see such an imperfect, completely vulnerable Yuxin. It almost made her feel privileged to reveal this side of her.

“You too...you too…”

Yuxin ducked her head down again and the two kissed again without another word, this time Xue’er craning her torso off the floor and wrapping her arms tighter around Yuxin, fervorously pressing her mouth into the short-haired woman’s, her nose dug into the space between her cheekbone and her eye. Both of their lips parted at the same time, and their teeth met with a faint clack, simultaneously parting to whisper mumbled “sorry”s to the other before continuing.

Xue’er felt a faint movement of Yuxin’s fingers along her thigh, remembering that it was still there. Her thumb was pressed against her inner thigh, dangerously close to her pussy, albeit fully clothed. 

Xue’er tilted her head back. “G-god…”

“Do you want to--”

The two girls blinked, noticing they’d spoken at the same time. After a couple seconds of silence, they both nodded. Xue’er tilted her head, expecting Yuxin to kiss her again. Instead, Yuxin’s lips found the side of her throat, nipping lightly at a spot that made her shiver. Her mouth formed an “o” and her eyelashes fluttered in surprise.

“Please…” Xue’er groaned. 

As Yuxin’s lips moved along her jawline, she fisted up Yuxin’s shirt, wrinkling it.

“God, why do you have so many clothes on…”

“I could say the same for you.”

A little gasp escapes Xue’er when she sees both of Yuxin’s hands on her hips, one thumb plucking at the waistband of her pants. A rush of realization comes over her that, fuck, she really is about to do this, to have sex with another woman, and that woman being Yuxin no less. But she knows that she wants to, badly so. Every fiber of her being is screaming yes. 

“Well, it is getting a bit warm in here,” Yuxin casually comments, removing her first layer of shirts, her black, long-sleeved top showing more of her subtle curves. Xue’er cocks an eyebrow, looking Yuxin up and down. 

“Isn’t a long sleeved shirt going to make you more hot?”

“So you think I look hot?” Yuxin mused, stretching purposefully to show off her figure.

“Oh, shut up,” Xue’er scoffed, pouting a little. 

Yuxin shrugged, taking her 2nd shirt off, a black Nike sports bra underneath. Her stomach muscles flexed when she took a breath in, tossing the shirt aside. Yuxin’s eyes met Xue’er’s and they looked so  _ hungry _ that Xue’er gulped, but when she moved towards her, sitting between her open legs, her eyes softened and she smiled.

“Can I take off yours?”

Xue’er nodded, biting her lower lip. Yuxin balanced herself on her knees as she leaned forward, wrapping her fingers around the hem of her cropped t-shirt, making Xue’er squirm a little when her knuckles brushed against her ribs. Xue’er whipped her hair over her shoulder when her top came off and was thrown aside into a growing pile of shirts, lips slightly parted. 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Yuxin mumbled. 

Xue’er captured her lips into another kiss. Yuxin pinned her against the mirror, leaving just enough space for her to shakily unhook Xue’er’s bra and toss it off somewhere. She latched onto one of her breasts, the other in one hand, thumb grazing over a nipple as her lips sucked, looking intently at Xue’er.

_ This was new. _

Xue’er moaned, tilting her head, the stimulation sending a tingling sensation between her legs. It’s not like she was a virgin, but the few times she  _ had  _ were nothing like this. The way Yuxin lingered with every touch and gave her that look that made her breath stop, she clearly had some experience. 

Yuxin released her nipple, gaining a whine from Xue’er at the loss of touch. She took a hold of Xue’er’s shoulders and turned her around, pressing her chest against her back from behind, squeezing her breasts again, her nipples taut between her thumb and forefinger.

“Just look at you.”

Xue’er’s gaze flicked up to the mirror. Her face was already shimmering with sweat, her red lipstick smeared, her hair mussed and curtaining one side of her face. She had a few pinkish marks dotting her neck and face thanks to Yuxin, who was adding more to the other side. 

“You’re honestly the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen…”

“Y-You’re just saying th-that…” Xue’er stammered, struggling to stifle a whimper when Yuxin rolled her nipple between her fingers.

“No, really...your body is...flawless. And you’re more than just that…”

Yuxin slid her hands down the other girl’s stomach, fingertips just past her waistband. “You’ve got so much drive...and potential to be great…”

“Aah...why are you being like this…” Xue’er said, Yuxin’s fingertips slowly slipping into her panties.

“You said you were struggling with confidence, and we can’t have that. So I’m determined to make you feel like the goddess you are…”

“S-so all this time...you thought I was a goddess?”

Yuxin chuckled, her chin perched on Xue’er’s shoulder, looking at herself in the mirror. “I-I...I didn’t realize it at first, but...ever since we left that company, and now this...maybe I realized I had a little bit of a crush on you.”

Yuxin’s fingers slid between her folds, but just once, then withdrew them from her pants. Xue’er huffed. “Is this what you do with girls you have a little bit of a crush on?”

“Not like this…” Yuxin replied, kissing Xue’er again. “Scoot up a bit.”

Xue’er cocked her head, but did as asked, backing away from the mirror. Yuxin sat between her legs again, her hands moving up Xue’er’s thighs and curling her fingers around her sweatpants. 

“Can I?”

Xue’er paused for a moment, regaining her senses and taking in that  _ this was actually happening,  _ then nodded. Yuxin gave a curt nod, then slid her pants down her pristine, pale legs. She loosened Xue’er’s shoelaces and tugged off her skid-marked sneakers, fully pulling off her bunched up pants. She exhaled, eyes travelling from her toes to her thighs to the space between her legs, yellow panties wet from the foreplay. They were translucent enough that she could see some curly hair underneath, Xue’er closing her legs a little to hide.

“You’re so shy, baby,” Yuxin whispered, hands now on Xue’er’s hips.

“I haven’t had time to um…”

“I don’t mind. You’re still pretty.”

Xue’er allowed Yuxin to remove her underwear, lifting her bottom off of the floor to give her easier access. A strand of her juices clung briefly to the crotch of her panties before releasing, sticking to her pinkened folds. Yuxin hooked one leg over her shoulder, Xue’er’s mouth going dry at the prominence of Yuxin’s biceps despite how thin her arms seemed. The short-haired woman wet her lips, absorbing the sight displayed in front of her. She slowly leaned in, her lips surrounding Xue’er’s opening, rolling her tongue over her clit. Xue’er immediately twitched.

“O-oh my god…” she breathed, her hands on either side of Yuxin’s head. She could feel the pressure starting to build inside, and her hips gently rocked with Yuxin’s bobbing head lapping at her folds. She brushed Yuxin’s messy bangs from her forehead, Yuxin’s eyebrows furrowing and sending vibrations between her legs from her moaning. Realizing how much Yuxin was enjoying this, even not being touched, was making her so dizzy. Her hands were cupped underneath her ass, rubbing up and down rhythmically, paced with her ministrations on her clit. 

“Aaah...Y-Yuxin…” she moaned, her thighs hugging Yuxin’s head. Yuxin started quickening her movements, her nose up against her mound. Everything felt so slick and sticky, and whether it was purely from Xue’er’s pussy or Yuxin drooling or perhaps a mix of the two was a mystery, but it didn’t matter to either of them.

“Jesus,” Yuxin gasped, taking in a breath before diving back in. In that moment, she could see Yuxin’s mouth and chin were a mess, her cheeks flushed, her eyes a haze before she closed them. Xue’er cried out when she felt that wonderful tongue on her again, fingers tightly grabbing at her hair, pushing her face into her cunt. 

“R-right there...please…oh,  _ please _ ...”

Xue’er mouth was agape, she was so very close that she needed Yuxin to stay right there, just give her a little bit more. Something snapped in her head that made her worry for a second that she was suffocating Yuxin, but with the way Yuxin hands were shaking, the way she groaned and took her in like it meant life or death, she put those worries aside.

Her entire body shook violently as she was thrown over the edge, desperate whines erupted from her that she would have called pitiful if she wasn’t having the best orgasm of her life at the moment. Yuxin’s eyes opened, lidded, looking at the other woman’s facial expression. She lifted her head up, throwing her arms around Xue’er and kissing her, enraptured, fingers twisting through disheveled, slightly sweaty hair. Xue’er could taste a hint of herself on her lips, a tangy aftertaste to the kiss. They pressed their foreheads together, their breaths shallow.

“Oh my god…fuck…” Xue’er gasped, chuckling.

Yuxin pecked a kiss on her cheek. “You’re too cute.”

Xue’er hummed. “Let me touch you, too.”

Yuxin’s eyes widened. “Hmm?”

Xue’er placed her hand on Yuxin’s chest. “It’s the least I can do...for what you just did to me.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Yuxin chuckled, the hair standing up on the back of her neck as she kissed under her jaw. “You don’t o-owe me anything.”

“But I want to.”

Yuxin wrung her hands together. Xue’er smiled. Underneath her handsome appearance, absolutely oozing with charisma, she really was a gentle, kindhearted girl. The way she reacted to even the proposition of being touched herself made Xue’er wonder if any girl she’d ever been with had asked her that before, if with the times she’d given, she’d ever taken. 

Yuxin nodded, allowing Xue’er to kiss her further, peppering her lips along her collarbones. She flinched and groaned at the sensation of teeth on her skin, her ribcage expanding as she laughed.

“Y-you’re so…”

“Is there something wrong?” Xue’er asked, genuine concern in her eyes.

“N-no, keep going, fuck...nobody will see marks you leave there anyways.”

Xue’er grinned, moving down to the dip of her chest, above her breasts. She pushed her hand underneath her sports bra, pinching her nipples. Yuxin’s legs spasmed.

“You know...you can t-take it...ah...take it off if it makes it easier for you…”

She eased the bra off, a pair of pretty, small breasts popping out underneath, nipples a dusky brown, erect from the cold air and stimulation. Their lips met again, Xue’er’s hand sliding down and into Yuxin’s pants. Her hips bucked up when dainty fingers met her clit, in between soaking wet folds.

Xue’er smirked. “Oh gosh...is this because of me?”

Yuxin responded with a breathy moan. Xue’er tested a few broad strokes against her pussy, following vaguely what she had done to herself in the past. Once she reached the peak of Yuxin’s small clit, underneath the hood, Yuxin let out an unrestrained cry.

“There, there, there.”

The redhead wasted no time swirling her fingertips around the area, collecting any wetness that seeped from her to lubricate around her clit. Yuxin’s legs were wrapped around her, her face even more flushed and sweaty, her face looking so vulnerable, pleading, even. Her whines were escaping her lips, even as she tried to close her mouth. She looked close to tears when Xue’er dipped two fingers inside her, thumb hovering over her stiffened clit.

“Good?” She checked, making eye contact as best she could with Yuxin’s head tipped back.

_ “Please.” _

Yuxin looked down when Xue’er slid two fingers inside her, clenching, her body rocking into Xue’er’s hand. 

She curled her fingers towards Yuxin’s walls. “You know, you kept calling me pretty, but you’re really pretty too…”

“Nnnnn...I-I…hah!”

She started pumping harder, her entire arm moving, reaching further down to get a better angle. 

“Y-you’re... _ ah! _ You’re driving me crazy…” Yuxin groaned. 

Xue’er pressed her fingertips against a particular spot, more wetness surrounding her fingers. With a tight clench, keeping her fingers mostly still, Yuxin’s entire body went stiff, and a tight gasp transformed into a long, low moan, her head tapping against the mirror behind her, her walls fluttering around Xue’er’s digits. She slipped the fingers she used to fuck Yuxin into her mouth, as if making her come didn’t make Yuxin turned on enough. Xue’er sat against the mirror next to Yuxin, one hand on Yuxin’s chest, her leg wrapped around her waist. She leaned her head into the crook of her neck, and Yuxin wrapped a hand around her torso, fingertips against soft, bare skin.

“So now what are we going to do?” Xue’er asked.

“Mmm?”

“You know we can’t just stay friends after this.”

“We don’t have to.”

The redhead gave a small smile. “I’ll think about it.”

“After we get dressed?” Yuxin asked.

“Ah shit...you’re right…”

As Xue’er began scooping up her shirt and pants, she turned her head, eyebrows pursed in the middle of her forehead. “Have you...seen my bra anywhere?”

Yuxin frowned.

“Helloooo is this someone’s--”

Both girls froze hearing Shuxin’s shrill voice meet their ears, and saw her holding Xue’er’s bra in one hand in the doorway. Her head turned and she saw the two of them, Xue’er completely naked, Yuxin shirtless.

“AAAAAAAAAH!!” Shuxin’s eyes went comically wide and she flung the bra into the practice room, slamming the door shut.

“Sh-Shuxin, I’m sorry!” Xue’er apologized through the door.

“Nooo I’m so, so, SO, sorry! But you two meimeis shouldn’t be doing  _ that  _ on the practice room floor, it’s so dirty!!” Shuxin cried.

“Y-yeah…” Yuxin replied. “Sorry, Shuxin.”

“--AND  _ DON’T _ THINK ABOUT DOING IT IN OUR BEDROOM EITHER!”

Yuxin turned red as she heard overly loud stomps trailing off.

Xue’er waved her hand, trying to brush off the other woman’s concern. “She’s a little...traumatized...she’ll be fine.”


End file.
